One photo for this week. There were not many photos from this past week that I got excited about. There was however a lot of time spent enjoying my time outdoors. Between our morning walks and time spent gardening there were many photos captured in my brain for the photo album in my memory.
This past week has been reflective and inspiring all at the same time. Thinking back over life, planning for the future, and trying my best to stay grounded in the present. Letting go of thoughts that aren’t beneficial so that my present is even better and so that my future can be the best possible time in my life.
Serious and heavy thoughts have been in my mind a lot lately. Struggles with insecurities that were built over many years. Even as the insecurities shrink they can flare back up to torment you. I freaking hate when that happens, but I’ve learned to examine where they come from instead of just ignoring them.
Yard work always seems to help me sort though my thoughts and get perspective. Maybe it is being so connected to the universe and the earth when doing yard work. Maybe it is how being outdoors allows me to forget my worries and the weight of the world. The butterfly below appeared when I was mowing on Saturday morning. Flitting all around this bush in my yard as the breeze was blowing… I didn’t want to quit watching this gorgeous creature. Butterflies are beautiful and it is hard to remember that in part of their life cycle they are nothing close to the colorful beings we see after they break out of their chrysalis.
Change is inevitable and rarely easy. In nature it is often more physically noticeable than it is in adult humans, but for us all it usually means a level of discomfort. There is true beauty in that breakdown that generates growth. For months I have felt as though I am shedding layers of myself as the me that has always been there, just buried under layers, is revealed. It is exciting and I am happy to be growing. I find that I can’t really explain it and so I relate to the caterpillar who creates a chrysalis to prepare for their life as a butterfly.
Life is just a variety of phases that we grow through. Isn’t that the point though? We grow and learn as the years come and go. I look back on life and can see where I was and now look at where I am… it is a better place in so many ways. My soul is more settled, I have a better understanding of what I really want out of life. It can take so long to figure out who we really are. There are trials and errors as well as joys and celebrations along the way. There are times I wish I had done things differently. I wish I would have skipped a few of my tattoos. I wish I had traveled more before I got my pets. However, everything up to this point has made me who I am and who I am is someone I like more each day. I still have a lot to learn and a lot to accomplish in life… and that excites me!
Butterflies only get one little life cycle. We humans can go through many stages of time in our “chrysalis” as we prepare to grow and spread our wings. Constantly evolving our thought process, our ideas, and our life. The choice is ours. We cannot erase our past anymore than I can snap my fingers and erase my tattoos, but maybe that is for the best. In remembering who we have been we can easily remember who we do and do not want to be.
We can all learn from stopping to look at nature. If nothing else, we can be reminded to enjoy our life in the now and make it the best possible life for us. More and more I realize that putting off the things that make our heart happy and soul content is silly… we don’t know what tomorrow holds. So, right now is really the time to live the life we want. Be in the moment and make the moments count.
Excuse my ramblings, as you can see… I am most definitely in a period of searching and growth. It’s an uncomfortable place and a freaking awesome place to be.