Hold for the Future

This post is being started a few months before it gets posted. It is one of pure mush and happiness about the way that life still can bring complete surprise.

September 2017. People from Florida might remember it for Hurricane Irma. While I remember the way the storm sounded as I huddled with my pets and the annoyance of 8 days without power, that is not what I think about when I think back to that time.

Fourteen days after Hurricane Irma landed in Florida I was enjoying my return to air conditioned sleeping, a working refrigerator, and hot showers. I was also checking messages on a dating site I had signed up on in an effort to actually meet people without having to venture out into places where groups of people meet. I had not been on the site for long and I was already remembering why I hated sites like this and thinking about ditching it when…. I got a message from someone who understood my love of solitary late night or early morning movie watching, who loved Dr. Who, and who was fun to chat with.

We quickly progressed from chatting through their messaging to texting. Seeing his name on my phone made me smile and caused my heart to skip a beat (still does). After weeks of messaging and chatting we finally met in person at Magic Kingdom in front of the castle on a Sunday morning. It was a day I will never forget. I have been to the Disney parks dozens of times in my life and never enjoyed it as much as I did that day. Just waiting in line for the rides was fun. We ended up leaving Magic Kingdom to go to Animal Kingdom and I carry the sweet memories of wandering and talking. There are moments of that day that stand out so clearly. Our initial meeting when he snuck up behind me (usually this isn’t a good thing, but for him it worked). Sitting on the bus going between parks and not caring it was crowded because I was enjoying myself. Standing and drinking margaritas, surrounded by people and not even noticing. That first meeting set the tone for who we are. There are many memories that are precious and not going in this blog, the point really being that I have loved the past (almost) two years.

Fast forward to late August 2019 and we have another hurricane on the way as I type this. As everyone is in hurricane prep mode I find that I am in memory mode while thinking about prepping.

My life has blossomed in the past two years. There is a brightness that burns through the darkest rain clouds. Hold for the future. That statement was just a holding place for the title for this, but it is staying the title now. Because it reminds me of the hope I held for years even when I didn’t feel like I could. It reminds me of the hope I continue to hold for the current and the future.

Each day life surprises me in some little way. Areas of life that felt barren come back to life. Not just in the form of meeting a man I never believed existed or that I would meet if he did, but also in all areas of life as changes come that I had almost given up on. Changes that can bring some good things to the future.

In the past almost two years we have created hours of brilliant hues and splendid memories. We have dreams and goals for even more to create and I cannot wait for them to happen.

I have a few friends who have expressed that they don’t have much hope and it hurts my heart to hear it. Find the tiniest bit to grab and hold on until it grows. We get told how we don’t need anyone to survive, but I can honestly say that sometimes we need someone to help us cultivate that hope when it is dwindling in our soul. I hope to be that person for others I care for and I greatly appreciate everyone who has been that person for me.

It is time to bring this post to an end by saying I am grateful to whatever energy brought my life to the now and brought this man into my life. I don’t think he came into my life knowing he would be the person watering that little tree of hope when I couldn’t find the water and there was no rain falling on it, but that is what he did. That tiny seed of hope has grown into a full and lush tree that continues to grow.

Much hope and love to you all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s