Earlier this week the news broke that Chris Pratt and Anna Faris are separating. Immediately the web was filled with speculation and opinions. As I saw a few of these popping up I was reminded that it is incredibly easy to stand outside of any relationship (not just romantic ones) and make judgments as to why it isn’t working. However, the reality is that when you live inside of it day in and day out you are living the issues that happen.
As somone who has been divorced, I can say that most people watching from outside of the relationship never realized the depth of the problems or the efforts that were made to salvage the marriage. The reality is that most people do not want their relationships to fall apart. Most people that I know feel as if they have failed when relationships end.
In these moments I am reminded of how painful ending some relationships has been for me. Even when it was time for those relationships to end I would often hold on and keep trying. Sometimes it is just that lives take different paths and you no longer share the path with that person. Sometimes there are more complex reasons that are based on your emotional or physical health. Sometimes life just happens and for no actual reason we grow apart from someone we care for.
When I feel the human urge to judge someone and their broken relationships I try to step back and remember how much I hated it when someone did it to me. Because the reality is, until you live my life (every second of every day) you will never understand all the bits and pieces of my life enough to make decisions for it. That’s hard for most of us to remember.
Granted, I don’t know Chris Pratt or Anna Faris, but I do know that this situation is a very visible reminder that other people who we do know are going through separations in their lives. It’s a reminder that when someone we know is going through a similar situation our best reaction is to let them talk and to love them. Because ultimately, we are outside of the situation and we can only see brief glimpses of what they actually deal with day in and day out.