Unsure and Hesitant and Still Moving Forward

My writing has slowed as I battle internally with thoughts of where I want to be in life and what I truly want. I am a Pisces, a full on fish swimming in two different directions and therefore my soul always seems pulled Pisces. Goodness knows that I feel bad for anyone that deals with my constant inability to want to settle on one idea. There are constants: I always want a pet of some kind, I always want books nearby, I LOVE COFFEE, brunch is my favorite meal, and nature makes my soul happy. Oh, and if you are in my inner circle I LOVE and appreciate you even when I don’t talk to you often.

The ever-changing side, well that list is gigantic! Right now it’s more evident than ever for me as I try to decide how I want to live. Here’s the thing, I like having a yard and a house. What I prefer is a much smaller home and either a really large yard or a small space that requires little maintenance.

For most of the time I was with my ex-husband we lived in a travel trailer or 5th wheel. Sadly we never traveled in them… that was for someday. I loved living in a travel trailer. Yes, I know the cliché about people who live in travel trailers. I also know that I like tiny living. This having space I barely ever use makes me a little frantic and I have things I don’t need because I hate just having a room with nothing in it because that feels like a waste.

So, here I am trying to wrap my head around the idea I have had for over 15 years. The idea of living in a travel trailer and moving around the country. Trying different areas, being a bit of a gypsy. Because I want to experience an area and not just a week at a time on vacation. More along the lines of months at a time.

This is terrifying because I would be looking to hop from one place to the next and do seasonal work. This is also exciting because I would learn and see so much.

So, here I am with these fish inside my brain. One says to purchase property and be stable and one says to jump and experience life in a way that has been tantalizing and scary.

So, for now my friends, my writing might be a little our there and delve into a mess of differing sides because as I sort through them it helps me make sense of them when I put them out into this blog. Because the answer doesn’t have to be decided now. Right now what I need to do is keep sorting the thoughts and moving forward.

Much love.

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